Because It's Just Me

Hi,!
Hello . . .
Good Night, for  anyone who reads this stuff.. hahaha
If you ever visited my blog and read some sucks writing thankyou! But i think i haven't introduced myself personally... ok. let me do it. it's just me, my name is Umi Ma'rifah, not a really good name but i'm so gratefull with it. im kinda ordinary girl with thousands dreams. One of my dream is being writer,  but i think i have not enough skill in writing, you can see it from my works. I really appreciate you who do not stop reading my works 'till the end of the story.

My favorite writer is Habiburahman el-shirazy. He is Indoneian writer, he wrote " ayat-ayat cinta" but trust me that's not my favorite one. my favorite one titled " Jangan biarkan surau ini roboh". that's such an awesome novel. It's kind of religy novel about moslem. There is love story that's very touched.

But his novels do not motivate me a lot to write. I have another writer. not a real writer that has his own novel. but im sure he will. he has nick name. and i used to call him "L". he's such a great awesome writer that motivate me a lot. he shows me his works and it's totally cool!.  He teaches me how to write and motivated me to write my real story. He never forces me to write like his style. he said i need to write my own story in my own style.. because i'm myself. I'm not him or another person. Another words that he ever told me is

 " Write your problem, then you will find your solution, do not worry how , just write and wait the miracle that will happen"

That's a nice word, after that i used to write everything about my problem and wait the miracle that will come after it. I would like to say thank you to him. Thank You!

Not only L, i have two online writers that are my favorite just like him that their works make me impressed. Their name is Akh Yar and Bagas, I have no idea about them except their works. Those writing just like a note in facebook but those are awesome. I never know about them and they never know about me too. but i always follow their note in facebook. But im little upset with Bagas Yudha Pratama because he seems like has a new girlfriend and it changes her style of writing becomes "alay" so i decided to move on, hehehe.

Okay..
now what else, i think about my life. i have no interesting story in my life. just like a common. i'm a student with not really high grade. i'm not beautiful, not rich. im ordinary. Because it's just me

Actually, tonight im in a bad mood.so, i am listening to a nice song. the title is " Amnesia" by 5 Second of Summer. it is a nice song, oh! how if i reflect this song to my life. hahah but promise me do not throw up while reading  it haahha.

"Amnesia"

[Calum:]
I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine

 ( i was going no place with him. and kiss? are you kidding me? he does not even touches my hand. but for me. .  he kisses my heart every time. )

Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

( I always wonder about how you are. have you get someone beside you,? do you ever feel lonely? because i do. do you ever read my poem that i gave to you at that sweet time? because i'm still writing something about you. this is one of them. I really wonder was that smile just a lie? i do not think that was real because you seem fine after all of those smiles were gone.And Im not fine at all!!)

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all

( I fully remember the day you broke me up. I totally remember the tears that fell down to my pillow. Every single wish we ever made? you fuck it out of my hope list. I wish i really could wake up  with Amnesia and forget about those fucking stupid memories. 'Cause sometimes it hurts me a lot.)

[Calum:]
The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone
I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone
And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around

It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on
It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long

It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all


( Your picture? i remembered that i kept those pictures in secrete folder and i never see it. just trust me. but i have no power  to delete it away. and i admit it i feel alone sometimes. you have moved on. that's good for you. congratulation!. of course It is hard to hear your name when i can't see you forever. And how could you be fine?)

Ok. stop it.. fyuuh.. 


That was a crazy talk right? hahha i don't care at all. i just write what i wanna write and read what i wanna read. i wish you all would like to read it with your heart not your eyes. :)

Thank You :)
See You in another crazy talk.